Well. It's been quite some time since I've penned a truly introspective note about myself. In light of my recent brush with certain death, I feel it's time to update those of you who still glance at these cyber-pages.

I was hit by a car yesterday.

...done laughing? Okay, now go fuck yourself.

In any case, I was on my bike, on the way to class. It's nothing unusual, and my bike has never once failed me, and it is in of itself, hard to miss (as am I, in broad daylight surrounded by hundreds of over-caffeinated idiots late for work). Usually, I'll leave for class around 9 and it take about 30 minutes to ride the four miles to campus nonstop (assuming it's not a day that induces swamp ass in biblical proportions). Yesterday, I decided since I was completely unprepared for my vocabulary quiz in English, I would leave about fifteen minutes early, giving myself time to actually enjoy my breakfast and look over the word bank...and for my sweaty self to dry off.

Little did I know that God fucking hates me.

So, I'm up the street from my apartment and another biker is ahead of me, already pushing the pedestrian button which I am convinced is only for decoration because none of them ever work. So the biker ahead crosses when the light is green, and I follow suit. Here's the climactic conclusion.

The minute I roll into the cross walk a red '99 Saturn slams into my bike from the side. I turn my wheel to keep from getting dragged under the car, and manage to balance one foot on the sidewalk leaving the left foot at the mercy of the car's back wheel.

Oh there was pain. There was a lot of pain. Instead of panicking at the contusion to my foot, I was mad that my only reliable source of transportation was now misaligned due to some coontastic old woman who claims she didn't even see me...and that she was looking up at the light.

So naturally, my initial reaction was to sue the broad...until the cops showed up to inspect the damage. Meanwhile, I'm fuming (and secretly excited because if I sue I can buy a car amongst other shit...still ignoring the pain in my foot). In any case, I filed an accident report, and the woman had to be one of the nice peopel and say she would cover the cost of damages done to both me and my bike which, might I add with pride, I've had since I first moved into the suburbs of Atlanta (that's a decade, people).

I am forced to go to the emergency room (knowing my foot isn't broken or fractured because I'm not blubbering like a bitch), and they stick me in a hideous gown that clashes with everything tasteful, and then treat me like a gimp (I could walk, albeit with a slightly limping gait), stick me in a wheelchair, and take me to be examined and X-Rayed.

The results? A minor contusion (minor to them means it was just short of being fractured, apparently), and they gave me a bottle of perscription Darvoset pills all the yuppie white children salivate over and told me to tranquilize myself with them every four hours. But be careful, says my physician, these pills make you extremely drowsy and may cause dizziness.

Oh how right he was.

Now, I'm no stranger to prescription medicine that induces a myriad of uncomfortable side-effects. I am, however, a stranger to the uncomfortable side-effects. Within an hour of swallowing one pill when I finally got into bed, I passed out. That was the only pill I took, despite the pain in my foot. Now, this morning, I managed to fix my bike myself so the woman doesn't have to pay to have the bike fixed (and I don't have to haul my ass all over this backwards ass city to find a bike shop), and I rode to school slowly (pain in my foot). When I bought breakfast, that's when the dizziness hit.

It was like an acid trip without the hallucinations. Everything was spinning, my hearing got really fuzzy, and I was vaguely aware of swaying on my feet. Did any of the fucks in the cafe notice? Of course not. they went on about their day like I wasn't about to vomit all over the place.

Once I got food and my daily smoothie into my system, however, the dizziness dulled to a faint sense of vertigo.

I'm about to take another one of those stupid Darvoset pills...so if you want to reach me, call my cell number or text me...I'll have it next to my ear so that I can at least somewhat hear it.